how can u be prego again
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
