I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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