If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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