so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
