"it" just moved
there's paper in my vomit.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
