Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize