i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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