I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I will be naked everywhere
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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