could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize