There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
