I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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