what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
