He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
