she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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