Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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