I can tuck mytits in my pants
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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