Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize