sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
