Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Houston, we have a squirter
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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