wat bout pragnant strippers??
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize