Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
