when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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