So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
