We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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