You're completely useless in the revolution.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Randomize
