so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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