I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
