I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
