I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
