Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
