So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
