weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
