I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Green mimosas i think yes
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
