Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
This is my gift to your gina
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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