508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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