So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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