I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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