Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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