did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
