My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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