i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
