Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
