he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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