i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
vagina is talking i cant
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
