I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
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