You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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