K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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