I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
