dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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