We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
