that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
