I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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