I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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