drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
