I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
