I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
