i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
