What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
