I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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