ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
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