So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
