I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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