They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
