shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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