I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
