And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I touched a dick in church today
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
