then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
