I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
