I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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