he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize