don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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