I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
